what is to come

In case you're wondering, here are some of my 'resolutions' for 2010:

• learn to sew (courtesy my new Singer)
• read a ton of books (my list is already large but I'm always open for suggestions!
• pray for Emery every day (hoping this calendar keeps me accountable)
• read my Bible every day
• lose weight (original, I know)
• be nicer to my husband
• be more intentional about staying in touch with people
• invite more people over (I should clarify by saying more variety)
• change-up my menu--I want to try new things this year and buy more fresh ingredients!

What are your plans for 2010??

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2009: A Recap

This year I kept a calendar on our refrigerator which may have been one of the best decisions of the year. It started out as a simple meal-planning calendar but I ended up using it to record all our goings-on for the year. I am so glad to have this now since it's hard to think back on a whole year and remember what we've done! Plus, it's handy to refer back to when I'm feeling uninspired for dinner yet again. I also enjoy looking back to see dinners crossed off with 'Date Night!' because that means we were able to have a last-minute date (yes!). It also means we have awesome friends and family who watch Emery to make those dates possible (thanks, guys!)
Here are a few highlights from 2009:
Trips: 1 trip to Nashville; 1 trip to Gatlinburg (we were big fans of Tennessee this year!)
Meals at home: 210! The other 155 were either eating out (probably at Don Pants) or at family/friend's places!
Books read: 63
Jeopardy total: positive $9400! yes!
Movies watched: turns out, I didn't keep track but we've watched a whole lot. We love movies!
Diapers changed: also, didn't keep track because that would be depressing!
Personal Highlights:
Emery: walking and climbing. try to stop her now!
Amanda: personal growth. I've learned a lot about who I am and who I want to be. I'm looking forward to how this is going to work out in my daily life from here out.
Nolan: "having our little girl love me." He said there's nothing better than when he comes home from work and she runs to hug his legs and yells, "Dada!". (Seriously, those were his words!)


In 2009 we witnessed four couples begin new lives together; celebrated several sweet babies entering the world, and sadly said goodbye to a wonderful, caring woman. Each year brings some sad and a lot of good. I am excited to see what 2010 will bring. That's my favorite part of starting a new year: fresh potential!

What was your year like? What are you looking forward to most in the coming year?

So I know I said I wasn't going to be able to add anything before Christmas but I found some time! These pictures are from an impromptu lunch with Nolan in Tremont. Emery and I decided to visit him at work and go out to eat as a family before our hectic Christmas schedule started. Aren't Nolan & Emery awesome?! (and adorable!)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Merry Monday!

Only 4 more days til Christmas! I'm psyched! My family is heading over to spend the week with us starting tomorrow. I love when we're all together even though we don't have rooms for everyone just yet and we'll be a bit cramped. All will be well because we're going to be making a lot of delicious food, playing fun games, and opening presents! I know I'm 24 now but I still get excited about opening presents! I love surprises! Since my fam will be staying in the 'office' room I don't know how often I'll be able to update the blog so I'll be saying Merry Christmas to all of you now! I thought I'd also add lyrics of a song we do not miss every year! Hope you all have a Merry Christmas and I'll be looking forward to updating with pictures!

Bless us All who gather here

The loving family I hold dear.

No place on Earth, compares to home

And every path will bring me back from where I roam.

Bless us all, that as we live

We always comfort and forgive

We have so much that we can share

With those in need we see around us everywhere

Let us always love each other

Lead us toward the light

Let us hear the voice of reason

Singing in the night

Bless us all with playful years,

With noisy games and joyous tears,

We reach for you, and we stand tall

And in our prayers and dreams we ask you bless us all.

Anyone know where that comes from? Ried's don't get to guess. Merry Christmas!

thursday thoughts

So I've started a new post about 5 or 6 different times in my head this past week but never got around to writing them out. I decided instead of writing a long 'serious' post about one subject, I'd write little blurbs about all the things I almost started writing about..or things that are just taking up space in my brain. Here goes:

• Em is getting really old. She talks a lot and has her own sassy personality. She now realizes I'm not the only one that can entertain her during our days so she's constantly asking for: Elmo, Abby, Barney, or a cookie.
• I've always enjoyed names. Right now I keep pondering Emmanuel. It's probably my favorite name to describe God. Emmanuel=God with us. What a comfort! As a sidenote, I'm not thinking about it as a child's name; however, I am thinking of 100 others because I have baby fever. Don't tell Nolan (I already did).
• Peace. At first I was thinking on a large scale what a great blessing Peace will be when Christ comes again. Nations will no longer be fighting each other and the world will be at peace. Just imagine that.What a great relief. I also long for the days when life won't be so hard and everyone can be in perfect relationships with each other. I can see everyone taking a deep sigh of relief and a burden being lifted from us.
• My sister and I are going to start a women's Bible study beginning in February discussing The New Eve by Robert Lewis. I love listening to her vision for teaching and I am excited to be next to her in this endeavor. It's so great because that book came into my life by 'chance.' We were on vacation in TN with my fam and we visited a bookstore (of course). I was browsing and saw the title of the book and the author's name. My first thought was, "What business does a man have writing a book for women? If he's going to tell me how to be a woman or stay in the kitchen, I'm going to throw his book!" When I picked up the book and opened the front cover the flap said, "I know what you're thinking, how can a man be writing a book about women?". I thought, " I AM! I am thinking that!" Naturally, I had to read-on. Turns out, the book is awesome and helps define a Biblical description of womanhood and now Shan & I are going to be sharing his insights with the women in our church. I hope it resonates with them and changes their lives like it has mine.
• Speaking of 'chance' I'm also reading Silas Marner by George Eliot and she wrote a great quote: "Favourable Chance, I fancy, is a god of all men who follow their own devices instead of obeying a law they believe in...The evil principle deprecated in that religion is the orderly sequence by which the seed brings forth a crop after its kind." So good, right? I love finding different ways of saying, 'you reap what you sow' because it is Truth.
• Another quote I found recently and love: "The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own" -Benjamin Disraeli. Add that to my parenting mantra!
• I would really appreciate some snow. I'm trying to get into the Christmas spirit. Really, I am. We watched part of The Grinch tonight (cartoon style), I've wrapped presents, our tree has been up since Thanksgiving, we actually hung the garland this year, I've been drinking hot chocolate at least once a day, Shan is getting me some boots tomorrow, Em has all her snow gear, I'm thinking about peace...I mean, how much more do I need to do?! I need snow! Please. I plan to make paper snowflakes with Emery tomorrow in hopes that it encourages the real snowflakes to feel welcome at our home!

I hope you all have had a wonderful Thursday and will have an even better Friday!

thursday treat

A trip to Aldi in 15 degree weather to get 1 tsp. of vanilla extract and 2 cups of flour. That's all I was missing. I mean, of course I bought the whole bottle and bag but I was barely short of materials. Plus, I had to drag my adorable toddler in all her snow-gear glory. She kicked off her boots and gloves countless amounts of times. On top of that, when I got to the checkout I realized my debit card was in the diaper bag. In the car. I had to step out of line (after someone was nice enough to let me pass since I only had 3 items and they had a cart-full); grab Em and run out to the car (15 degrees, remember) and then back into the store. All so I grant Nolan's request for chocolate chip cookies. He's worth it though!

Plus, Emery and I had a mommy-daughter bonding moment while making the cookies! I can't wait to actually bake things with her and she's a help rather than an added distraction. She's so adorable that I don't mind it. I mentally prepared for a kitchen disaster but she was actually pretty calm and clean--I was so proud! She poured in the vanilla, the sugar and ate some of the chocolate chips--trying to keep the cookie-to-chip ratio in order. In the midst of baking I was able to capture a few moments. Enjoy the photos while we enjoy our cookies!

Mommy's little helper

chocolate!

"i'm just counting them, Mom"

I don't even pose her this way! It's her natural reaction to 'no'. Love it!

Mom caved!

schedules

I have to say, I love Emery's new schedule. It goes something like this: Bed anywhere from 8-8:30 (normally goes down just fine). Wake up: anywhere from 8:30-9:30 (except today was 10! yeah 10!!). Nap around 1 or 1:30 and in dreamland for at least 2 hours! What a great schedule! It fits perfectly into our lifestyle (or at least the lifestyle I enjoy at home.) Those two hours in the afternoon=letting me do whatever I want. Today that included sobbing over this; browsing this and then watching Ellen. Thanks, Nie. Thanks, Ellen. Thanks, Beks and Thanks, Nolan for showing me how to do links. Now, off for some time with the hubs! (since I don't have to get up early!)

thoughts on motherhood

Normally 17 months is not a milestone that causes a celebration. We're not having a party or anything but since I knew I was planning to take her 'monthly' picture, I've been reflecting on the past 17 months. It has been a challenging year and 1/2 but not without its rewards. Growing up, I always wanted to be a mother; mostly because who cannot love sweet cuddly babies?! As it turns out, those babies don't stay cuddly or easy or necessarily sweet. That's the part I hadn't thought about or prepared for. I think that is why staying at home was a challenge for me at first. Now after 17 months, I can say I have found my calling. I can also say that without these months of staying at home, I would not have the relationship with Christ that I do now. I would also be missing out on this renewed confidence I have in myself. As it turns out, I'm a good mom. I'm certainly not perfect nor do I have all the answers for the next phases of Em's life..but I am a good mom. Being a mother has given me something to be proud of and to really live for. I wake up to Em's sweet voice (most mornings) coming in over the monitor. It brings a smile to my face-what could be a better way to wake up? Granted, once I go in her room she could have the ornery look in her eye or she and her bed could smell (and feel) like stale urine (or worse) BUT the first moments of hearing her voice get me out of bed and ready to start my day. Sure, some days feel mundane and there are certainly days that make me feel overwhelmed but in general it feels great to have a direct purpose in life (especially when that purpose is as adorable as miss emery ruth).
Please bear with me as I give just a couple examples of why I'm a good mom (this is really more of a reassurance for myself, not for you, and not to be braggadocios)

• her baby book is completely up-to-date and I've been keeping a journal of her developments/funny stories/letters from mom & dad
• I mug on that girl something fierce. there's no way she could doubt that her mom & dad love her
• I'm always looking for ways that we can play together or crafts we can do (I can't stop dreaming about mother-daughter dates either!)
• I try really hard to be an awesome wife so she'll know what a good marriage looks like
• we read books and sing songs daily
• I've taken approximately one zillion pictures of her and tried to document our lives
• I'm not going to settle for being a mediocre mom. I'm trying to take care of myself, learn new things, and better myself so that I have that much more to give each day.

Unfortunately, there's also several things I fall short on and I'd appreciate prayers

• I ask for prayers, but I'm not consistently praying for Em
• I'm impatient and I often rush her
• Sometimes I'm selfish (more times than I want to admit) and want to think about what I want to do, when I want to do it instead of being in the moment with her
• I'm not always the best wife to Nolan
• I'm really bad at keeping the house clean (it's orderly but almost always dusty)
• I compare her

I could go on but I think this is enough for now. When constructing today's blog I intended to actually write all about Emery (maybe a love note to her) but I've been reading other blogs that talked about motherhood and it just got me thinking about my role. I am proud of myself (today) but I also know that I'm not working on my own power. There are days that I would like to turn the monitor off and sleep an hour more. There are a LOT of days that I'd rather read a book all day long rather than play with Em. My relationship with Christ and the knowledge that I'm training up a child in the way she's going to go helps me on the days I can't do it myself.

Although I have grown and changed a lot in these last 17 months, I am still working on owning my role. I think the role of motherhood is sacred and I want to be the best I can be. It is not a role to be taken lightly but fortunately there are many rewards (disguised as hugs, slobbery open-mouthed kisses, tears as I her learn and interact, and cuddles when I least expect them) to keep me focused and renewed in my efforts.

Thanks for putting up with such a long post and I hope my thoughts weren't too scattered. Today I'm just full of love for my sweet girl and appreciative of the role and calling God bestowed on me. For your efforts, I'll reward you all with photos from Em's day! Enjoy!

Beginning the day with a bottle, our fave blanket, comfy couch, and Sesame Street

Checking the status of the tree. Yep, still there.

Wearing her "hat". This was not provoked by me at all--she thought this all herself! Bad news: it messes with depth perception and balance; hence, the drunken stagger.

Push the music button and do a little dance!

Practice drum skills on the laundry basket. Gotta start somewhere!

I can't describe what she's doing here but look at that fancy hair! I'm practicing different styles before next week's 'pro' pictures.

That girl would not work with me at all but I did capture this ornery look

She's 'reading'. All the letters are either 'a','b', or 'e'. Love it!

Emery Ruth, I love you sweet girl! Thank you for letting me be your mommy even when I mess up! Can't wait to watch you grow over the next 17 and counting! Love, Mommy

Christmastime is Here!

Hope everyone had grateful Thanksgivings! We enjoyed time with our family and spending time together on the drives to said families. Last night we put up our tree and decorations while listening to Christmas music, drinking hot cocoa, and talking with friends. Just the way we'd love to spend every evening! Enjoy some pictures of the night!
More on Shutterfly!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

We're off celebrating with our families! Hope you enjoy your holiday weekend!

monday, monday

I have to tell all you Kittermans and those who know Nolan, Emery has inherited more than her daddy's dimples. That girl finds the most enjoyment from pushing the same sound button over and over and over..and then over again. God love her but I wanted to throw everything that made sound out of the window today. Hope you all can appreciate that and feel pity for me! just jokes! She was Captain Destructo today though. All books off the shelves, all the baking essentials out of the cupboard, all the toys out of the basket, and almost all of the washclothes/towels out of the drawer.
Luckily today was a bright, warmer, sunny day! Who could stay angry on a day like today?!
Also, we got news that our dear brother is an 'official' lawyer! Congrats, Ian on passing the bar! We're proud of you and hope things go well in Thailand! (also, we miss you and Beks!)
Sorry about my writing deficiency...the thing is that I've been overwhelmed by thoughts/challenges and instead of writing them out, I shut down. I've just had a lot of challenging sermons, lessons, songs, books, and anything else you can find inspiration from. Hopefully all the thoughts in my head will find an outlet soon and I'll be back to writing!
I can say we are super excited about Thanksgiving this Thursday!
My quiet writing space is about to be invaded by Cpt. Destructo so I'm going to go. Plus, small group is starting soon (yes!) so I bid you all adieu!
Much love!

Simple Sunday

Just wanted to share a few things on my mind that I'm happy about...
1. Em is getting really good at eating with a spoon! It's fun to watch even though today at lunch her spoonful was made up of ketchup. That was it and that grosses me out. But on the good side, she is using the spoon on her own and saying "ketchup" so I'm going to call it a win.
2. My wonderful hubs is doing a mountain of dishes right now. Love that guy.
3. laundry is in the washer. I love that we have a washer/dryer and I love doing laundry in general because it's so orderly.
4. Mark gave a great sermon this morning about giving our best. That was after I had morning meltdowns about my wardrobe and lack of sleep. Thanks, Mark for whipping me into shape.
5. Em is asleep right now without fighting me!
6. Derek & Ashley are going to be at our house for a few days starting this evening! Can't wait to see them!
7. Next week starts the holiday season for us and I am super excited to spend time with our families. Some of my uncles from down south will be meeting Nolan and Emery for the first time and I will be meeting my cousin's wife for the first time as well. I love family! (and delicious food) 8. life is good

What are you happy about today?

this is what happens when you say, "Emery, can you blink your eyes?"

We were playing with her magnetic ABCs and she decided she wanted to read about them too.

quick note

hey guys!
as you may have noticed, I changed the blog again. I'm just learning how easy things like this are and I decided it'd be fun to change the look of the blog for the season we're in. Normally, I like consistency but that's the fun of a blog! It can change while the rest of your life stays constant! How can you not take advantage of all the great FREE stuff?!
Our Monday was "a case of the mondays". Unfortunately, Nolan didn't have a great day at work but he'll keep plugging away and hopefully problems will find a way of working themselves out.
I woke up this morning praying for patience. When will I learn not to do that? If you pray for something, the Lord gives it to you. That's great when I'm asking for problems to go away but when I ask for patience (my arch nemesis) I also have to accept that I'll be given opportunities that will try said patience. Fortunately, all's well that ends well and I can go to sleep knowing that God is good, I love my husband, we have a beautiful daughter, and life will go on (despite the fact that I've done dishes in the dishwasher and by hand and there's STILL dishes in the sink. how does that even happen?!)
much love to you all, especially on a monday!

catch up

Oh blog! I have missed you! It's only been a week but previously, I'd been a roll so a week-long absence now seems like forever. So what is new in these Kitterman's lives? Glad you asked...
My delightful mother came to visit us last Sunday/Monday to get her grandbaby fix and Em & I decided to go home with her. I'd been feeling homesick the past few weeks so I thought I'd take the opportunity to see some of my extended family. Emery and I had a great time visiting Great Grandma and Grandpa, hanging out with cousin Christopher, visiting Grandma at her school, and being near Aunt Beffy. On Wednesday evening I even got to go to a MOPS group and make a CRAFT! I love crafts! "It just so happened" (aka, Thank you Lord for being in control of even the smallest details) that my mom's singing group practice coincided with the MOPS group meeting and childcare was being provided. How much more can you ask for, really? It was a great week surrounded by people I love even though I had to leave the hubs at home.

Speaking of that great man, he has had an opportunity to shine this weekend and boy did he take it! On Thursday evening (as soon as I got home, of course) I got really sick. Nolan stayed home on Friday (even though it was an extremely busy week at work) to take care of Emery and basically waited on me hand and foot. I was supposed to leave Friday evening for a Beth Moore conference with the church but I was too sick to go. Nolan did laundry all day Friday and provided Emery with meals and entertainment. Then Saturday I felt up to heading to Springfield so I was able to attend the conference. Nolan took care of Em and went grocery shopping!! I thought that when I got back from the conference he'd expect me to be back in my normal role but I still wasn't feeling 100%. He didn't miss a beat. He made supper for us as well as breakfast and lunch today! He's a machine!

I don't mean to make this blog a shrine to my husband BUT he's just been so good to me so I had to share my joy with you all. Thank you Al & Sue for raising a great man and Thank you Lord for giving him to me!

These pics are from our week in Hoopeston. Emery enjoyed being doctor/chef and she enjoyed wearing Papa Rick's bike helmet around the house! Also, I'm resonating what C Jane wrote on her blog about the hardship of motherhood. Em turned 16 months this past week..where has the time gone?!

Sweet Treat

Hey guys! Hope you had a great Halloween. To be honest, I've never been one to get super excited about Halloween. I don't do scary things. Ever. However, I have no problem with cute little kids dressing up--I love it in fact. Also, for some reason the thought never crossed my mind that if we take Emery trick-or-treating, Nolan and I get to eat chocolate! What's not to love about that?! The other good news was that we got a hand-me-down ladybug costume--what's not to love about that either?! Em wore the costume all day long and LOVED it. She was a treat to watch all day yesterday. Plus, the rain FINALLY let up so we could go outside. We went to our beloved Kickapoo Park and enjoyed a little sunshine.

We didn't know how she would react to going to stranger's houses to get candy but she was a pro. The first house (which handed out full-size goodies!) she was a bit nervous but after that she just held the bucket on her arm and went right up to the doors! I can't imagine what goes through "first-timers" heads. "So now it's okay to talk with strangers and they will give you cookies?!"

Here's a couple pictures for you of the evening but I encourage you to check out our Shutterfly (I've added a link on the right hand side of this page for your convenience) because I also added a video from the park. She is hilarious! Sorry that you also will have to listen to me breathing heavily in the camera..I have a cold.

How was your Halloween??

winterizing

Hey all! Thought I'd share some pictures of the day...

Nana K bought Em a winter hat, some bibs and gloves and Emery is enjoying them already. She actually gets angry with me when I take the gloves off her! Also, Em has turned 'Linus-y" today. She's never really taken to a pacifier or her thumb but today she's used a paci and has been seen dragging a blanket around with her...strange

The funniest part of this day is that Em gets so excited when I put her gloves on and she walks around the house while clapping or swinging her arms so she can see the mittens. She likes to rub her hands together and is positively giddy ---seriously right now she is walking around with her juice, wearing her mittens and hat completely content. Thanks for making her day, Nana!

so easy and efficient

For breakfast Emery discovered a new way to enjoy yogurt. Let the innovator show you herself:
First, you dip all of your fingers into the yogurt container...

Then lick your yogurt-covered fingers (all together or one at a time, your preference)...

Finally, you'll want to add cereal for crunch (I used Total this morning)...Enjoy!And when I ask for just one little picture with a smile and a "cheese!" she gives me this...as if to say, "I'll say cheese, Mom but I won't be happy about it."

As a sidenote, what you can't see in these pictures are the pieces of cereal stuck under her layer of chins...classy

i love him because...

...he's a man's man but he will watch musicals and 'chick' flicks with me; no complaints
...he knows the best way to calm me down
...he reminds me that parenting can be fun too

...he's easy to please

...he has a great sense of humor and laughs at my jokes

...he's a great cook

...he's handy

...he can be quite charming

...he gets along with my family and I love his
...he takes life day by day and doesn't worry

...he loves Jesus

...he provides for his family

...he married me!

...he adores his daughter
...for our anniversary yesterday he called work to say he'd be late so he could enjoy breakfast with his girls. When Emery & I left for Story Time at the library, he stayed to tidy up the kitchen, living room, 'office' and even made our bed (decorative pillows and all). A gift much better than flowers!

How can I not love this man?

Happy Birthday, Nolan. I love you!

nothing sweeter

I love our little girl. She's so fun! She found our secret hiding spot for the cookies and she'll go up to the cabinet (which has a safety lock on it) and say, "cooookiiee!"..if you could only hear you, you wouldn't judge me for giving in..almost every time. Thought I'd show you what happens when I give in though...

*and yes, for the record, she is a bit too big for the exersaucer but she likes to sit in it for snack time and watch The Electric Company. I don't just put her in there so I can sneak in the back room and update the blog..she requests it. believe me! Hope you are enjoying the sunshine!

p.s. Em's hair is starting to curl up in the back more definitely. I'm in love!

simple joys

Hey guys! Just wanted to share a few recent stories from Em's life. She cracks me up!

• First, you have to understand that Emery loves her belly button. It is endless entertainment and travels well. On Monday we met my (Amanda) family at Curtis Orchard in Champaign. We were eating at their cafe when Em decides she's done eating and is ready to move on to the entertainment portion of the day. She lifts up her shirt and squeals "Bewy bud" (which translates to belly button). Then she pokes said button and laughs hysterically! Then she repeated the process...a few times! It was so fun to watch. Unfortunately by the time we realized we could put it on camera she was ready to be done! Hopefully I can catch it again soon to share with you all. It's so cute!



• The second story happened this morning. I finished dressing her for the day and we headed to the kitchen for breakfast. I thought it was going to be a calm morning but as soon as Emery hit the kitchen she squealed, "Coookkkiiee!!" (she's got that word down pat). She proceeded to squeal Cookie several more times before I could figure out where she was seeing them. Turns out, her adoring father left them in plain sight on the kitchen counter when he was packed his lunch. The way she squealed was like she couldn't believe that her life was so good that she could actually have cookies--at breakfast! She was so excited and of course, I couldn't rain on that parade so we shared cookies for breakfast. (Just one for her and then I gave her cereal so don't judge me! haha)



• I do have a video for you! Emery is very much into the "in & out" concept. Any basket or bowl or container of items you have, she wants to dump out and then put the items back. One night while we fixed supper she sat contentedly on the kitchen floor and played with a basket of apples. I just love that it doesn't take much to entertain her. Please notice pieces of the apples missing--she took a bite out of about 5 before I shot this video. It's not a big action sequence or anything but I thought you all might enjoy watching her mannerisms as she concentrates. --okay I tried twice yesterday to upload the video to no avail so I did upload it to Shutterfly--check it out!

It's October!! Be Excited!

On Saturday we had our first (of hopefully many) pumpkin carving contest. It was a lot of fun since I'm pretty sure I haven't carved a pumpkin since I was 9. Nolan won the contest even!
Saturday also marked Em's 15 months so I added some pictures of that. Hope you all are enjoying October so far--I love it but I wish it would stop raining! Enjoy the pics! Let us know how you all are doing!

*the picture of Emery pointing and the group of pumpkins are compliments of the Bacus'. thanks for sharing, guys!

on a lighter note

Here's a glance into our breakfast conversation this morning:
E: "mo-mma" (the dash is to emphasize that she drew it out)
A: "at least it's momma, and she stopped saying, 'manda'. Why does she call me that?"
N: "It's probably because she hears me calling you that."
A: "Well she doesn't call you Nolan."
N: "That's because you call me Big Poppa."

Oh that man. For the record, I never call him Big Poppa. Unless we're singing the song. Emery does really call me "manda" sometimes though. At least, that's how it sounds. I didn't think that would start until teen angst days. Oh well. I suppose she could be calling me worse.

On another note, I have a question for you all. Is Meatloaf making a comeback that I don't know about? Last Friday as we were watching Monk, they showed a preview for this week's episodes. Meatloaf was making a guest appearance. We thought that seemed random. Then last night we watched Ghost Hunters (which is strangely addictive) and guess who's making an appearance on that show next week? Yeah--Meatloaf. Completely different shows and networks. What's going on?
Speaking of guest appearances though, Nolan and I are excited about Glee next week. Kristen Chenoweth is making an appearance--we love her!
All this in a blog to tell you that we have dumb conversations over breakfast and spend too much time watching television.
Have a good Thursday! (We plan to--thank you Office! and welcome back Grey's!)

my hope is found

It's amazing how God works the smallest details into your life to make a huge impact. If he has something to tell you, he's going to make sure you get the message. A month ago I had a seemingly unimportant discussion with a girl from church. I told her that I was getting ready to start reading The Return of the Prodigal Son (by Henri Nouwen) and she asked if we could turn it into a discussion so she could read it along with me--I said sure.
In the meantime, I was having some identity issues. Apparently I was identifying myself with what I could produce and give to the world. I am someone who likes to see a result for my efforts so it didn't help me when people would say, "being a mom is the most important job. You'll see the results when she's older." older is not soon enough for me! So that led to me feeling inadequate, inefficient, unworthy, and useless--all those good things.
Enter Les into the situation. Les is our good friend who happens to be the youth minister. He preached a couple weeks ago about-guess what? That's right: identity. The sermon was based in Philippians 3 and through a piercing dialogue he explained that our identity should be founded in Christ alone. Of course, I've heard this before but Les' message struck a chord. He emphasized that we may know God but we need to make sure he knows us. I have to work to make my identity based in Christ so that he will recognize me among the crowd when "every knee bows & every tongue confesses." I thought this message was great and I meditated on it for a while but of course, those nagging feelings of inadequacy were never too quiet.
Now enter my good friend, Henri. I was reading the first part of his book to prepare for my discussion tomorrow. He wrote a great line, "I am the prodigal son every time I search for unconditional love where it cannot be found." How true is that for you? It's head-on for me. When dealing with these dark feelings I didn't turn to God. I kept sliding down the slippery slope and shut off the voice that was telling me, "I love you, Amanda. As you are; not for what you do." I was following what Nouwen describes as "an anxious struggle resulting from the mistaken idea that it is the world that defines me." After reading, I said, "Okay, Lord. I get it. I'm working on it! It's what I'm striving for; working towards." and definitely, "thank you!" Henri also wrote something that stopped my downward spiral. He said, "When God created man and woman in his own image, he saw that 'it was good' and, despite the dark voices, no man or woman can ever change that."
I know that's really heavy information about me that you didn't ask for but I can't stop thinking about this today and I wanted you to learn it too. I hope Henri's words (and more importantly, God's) speak to you today! Remember that even if you feel like your failings are great, “grace is always greater.” Much love!

picture preview

Hey guys! Emery and Mommy had a great picture day today. We went on a little walk over to Scully Park to explore and we also were able to play in a little puddle back at home. Em really wanted to swim in the fountain at the park so I'm thinking the puddle gave her the water fix. Here's a preview of the pics from today. The rest are on Shutterly. Enjoy! Hope you had a good "First (official) Day of Fall!"

Also, before you yell at me, I know Em needs a haircut. I'm just not ready to do it yet. I can already hear Sue saying, "When are you going to cut that baby's hair?!" Not yet. I can't stop the growth in other areas but I can control how long her hair is! I'm not ready to give that up yet--it's so baby-soft and cute! So please be patient with me in this area and enjoy the pictures anyway!

in the kitchen

In an effort to appease my need for productivity, I spent the greater part of the day making applesauce yesterday. It turned out great! I was surprised how easy it is to make (time-consuming but relatively easy if you leave the peel on). If you want some, come on over! I made some with cinnamon, some without and one batch with brown sugar & cinnamon. It's an applesauce smorgasboard,basieally!

While I stirred what seemed to be an endless pile of apples, Emery kept herself occupied with a stepstool. I love that she doesn't need a lot to be entertained! She's very fascinated with the camera these days. She already wants to look at the picture after I take it and she's even taken a few of her own. That means we have a lot of closeups of random parts of her body. She obviously hasn't learned the rule of thirds yet.



Anyway, hope you all had a good Monday and enjoy the sunshine today! Much love!

Book Update: The Book Thief is already excellent. I'm mid-way through and I'm hooked. I love reading it and when I'm not reading, I'm thinking about the next time I can read it! Check it out!